Every Minute of Every Hour of Every Day

Part of me wants to be just a writer, always writing or editing or reading or reading about writing or watching movies to get fresh ideas or sending query letters to agents or attending writer’s conferences or …

And then, in walked Reality. Capital R. Little things, you know, like the mortgage and the bills and the job and the adult responsibilities. The necessary things.

(As writers who read this, you believe you understand completely based upon the tone and the writing of the first two paragraphs. First paragraph: rushed, exuberant, no periods. A sense of breathless joy. Second paragraph: Short sentences. A tone of sarcasm.)

I think back to being a single man, a poet, in Boston in the 1990′s. There was the “freedom” of going to poetry readings just about every night. There were countless live, hands-on real people, social networking among living and breathing human beings. There was also a room with a shared bathroom and kitchen with all utilities (except for phone) for $75/week and a dead-end job in a music store. (Does anyone remember those?)

Currently I am a married homeowner, living in a hundred year old Victorian house. I own my car. I have a full-time job and a 401k. There is a lever of comfort that has been earned through many years. There is not as much time to gallivant or just “hang out” with other writers to be cool. My needs as a writer have changed.

I need to continue to develop my craft (now that I’ve learned what a Craft is) and get feedback from people I might not ever have met personally but who understand what being a writer is. I need random comments rather than sweet commentary.

Some twenty years removed from an artsy type existence, I am still a writer every minute of every hour of every day. I just seem to have become more focused on what that really means.

A Desire to Write; A Need to Revise

I can’t help it. I have an over-abundant and over-indulgent imagination. I look and see things and imagine and re-imagine them. New items are fodder for crime stories. Novels by favorite authors are jumping off points. Colors of one item coordinate with shapes of a completely different item. I want to create something all the time.

I almost feel like I’m in my twenties again.

Then, the guy who is about to turn forty-nine says “Hold on a minute! Take a good look at ALL of your files. The ones on the computer AND the old papers from twenty plus years ago.” And I start to have an argument with that guy, only because I hope he’ll cut me some slack and let me get around to creating new worlds and developing new characters to send down interesting roads.

But he wins. I look back at my blog entry and the paper I typed at the beginning of January with my 2011 Writing Goals. The Edit column has more entries than the Complete column. I had already stated to myself that this was going to be a year of perfecting the craft and not starting new projects.

But it’s hard in the same way that you are not supposed to eat a favorite item after starting a new diet. How can you possibly give up a favorite food simply to accomplish a healthy lifestyle goal? I realize that a fertile and creative mind does not have to “go to waste” on revision and editing. I realize you need as much if not more of your creative self but more formally balanced by your intellectual guiding forces.

And so, I turn back to “old friends” and become re-acquainted. The new friends will just have to wait.

Skating on Ice versus Swimming in the Lake

Since 2007, there has been a flurry of writing activity for me.

I have participated in NaNoWriMo, that madcap literary dash to the finish, writing (scribing, transcribing, composing, etc.) 50,000 words on a “novel” within the month of November. And I have successfully completed this event in each of the last four years. I put it aside for the month of December and then begin the new year with a rewrite, editing, polish, etc. But not really.

After a profoundly interesting meeting of the Kansas Writer’s Association in May 2009, I realized many things that I did not know about networking and blogging and self-publishing with POD services, etc. So, I got business cards, started this blog, found two short novels of mine ripe for publication and set to the task of networking. But not really.

With my wife’s help, I reorganized the office, separated personal from writing, and got myself in a position to take care of household needs separate from literary ones. But not really.

Since 2007, I’ve been only touching the surface of these things, skating on a thin layer of ice, polishing the impressions while fearful of falling and losing ground. I should have been diving into the warmth of a lake in summer, splashing around, unafraid of getting wet or staying out too late.

I wrote recently of having lost notes regarding a novel I was still working on in first draft. It occurred to me that perhaps this was a wake up call to go slower, refocus the efforts on work that needs more attention. I need to take some pieces that are good but not great, interesting but not fascinating, entertaining but not must-read and flesh them out and bring them to a truer point of completion.

So, whereas my 2011 Writing Goals shows that I wanted to work on two new pieces, I am revising even that. My focus will be on three works (perhaps a fourth) that will undergo extreme scrutiny and finer revision. I will slow down the train of the agent search before I derail myself. I will place unwavering attention on the skill and the craft and the art.

I will finalize two poetry collection manuscripts for publication on Lulu only because, well, they’re poetry and the whole idea of Lulu for poetry reminds me of when everyone was putting out their work in chapbooks.

It’s winter time. we just had a snowstorm here in the Wichita, KS area and we got about 7-9 inches of snow. That’s the real world. As far as my writing is concerned, I’m going to go swimming in the lake for a while.

A Contemporary Writer Explores the Mathematics of Time

I have this absurd notion that being an expatriate writer in Europe after the First World War was part writing and part drinking and that each one supported the other.  Relationships were tenuous; there weren’t that many happily married couples.  Very few were homeowners.  There weren’t 401(k) or money markets or retirement funds to worry about.  Therefore they MUST have had all the time in the world to write and develop their craft.

That’s when I look at my contemporary life and begin to wonder where the time goes.  We start with 24 hours in a day.  There are 168 hours in a week.  I get by on 6 and a half hours of sleep roughly.  Any more and I would be frittering away the time; any less and I would be sickly.  I work (or am at work) 42.5 hours a week.  But between sleep and work there is morning time: shower, coffee, breakfast, maybe the newspaper.  That equates to 7.5 hours per week.  And we take into account commuting to and from work which equals 4.16 hours.

I am more health conscious than before so I do work out.  Between the gym at work and at home that comes to 5.5 hours total for the week.  I do all the cooking at home so calculating making and eating dinner that’s 9 hours.  And I usually go grocery shopping once per week; I’m using 2 hours total for shopping and putting everything away.

Now, these are all the “have-tos”.  I suppose, as stated earlier I COULD sleep less and not work out.  Then I’d possibly be like those struggling writers of the 1920′s.  But I AM contemporary.

The math for the have-tos is 116.16 hours leaving me a total of 51.84 hours per week to write or an average of 7.4 hours a day.  I should be able to write encyclopedias, right?

Well, there are other things.  For example, even though I work the weekends (Tuesday and Wednesday are my “weekend”) I still spend the evening with my wife.  Maybe there’s a movie and/or commiserating that married couples are known to do.  So let’s say seven hours of a Friday and Saturday are our social time.

My new job is better than my old job so I’m a lot less stressed out and want to write more.  BUT let’s say I feel like kicking back and watching a couple of episodes of “Criminal Minds” on ION Television.  And let’s say I do this two times during the week.  Four more hours.

So now I’m down to 40.84 hours left which brings my per day average to slightly over 5.8 hours per day.  Still a lot of time.  But there are errands to run on my day off and homeowner things that have to be done because my wife and I are not Ernest and Hadley or Scott and Zelda and we can’t afford to hang around drinking all day.  So throw in another four hours for errands and an equal amount for household things.  Eight more hours into the mix.

I’ve got 32.84 hours left in the week to write.  But writing also includes blogging, reading blogs, updating Facebook, responding to Facebook comments and entries, researching agents, updating the query letter, sending out the query letter.  Writing is no longer simply one letter after another to make a word, one word after another to make a sentence, one sentence after another to make a paragraph, one paragraph after another to make a chapter, and several succinct and well-organized chapters to make a novel.  it is all the extraneous components of networking and research that are fundamental.

I’m not even counting the time it is taking to write this missive or the calculations that went into the details herein included.

Perhaps this is a diatribe at getting older and having more personal responsibilities, none of which I resent because they are elements that enhance and, in essence, define my life as a Human Being.  But what defines me as a writer?  Youth has a greater capacity for freedom because of fewer restrictions.  Age has fashioned a schedule and a set of parameters.

In the end, it becomes an issue of the quality of time spent doing anything as opposed to the quantity of time.  It would be nice to have more time to write more often.  Yet writing well in the time afforded to me is more significant.

And, on top of all that, as I was composing this, Mongo jumped up on my desk and laid down exposing his belly and reminded me that time HAS to be spent paying attention to him.  And Camille.  And Rupert.  Cats are so demanding.  But then, several of you already knew that.

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