Post Conference Blues; Pre Conference Jitters

April 17, 2012 at 7:51 pm (Personal, Writing)
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Last month was the KWA Scene Conference. The Friday night started off with Pitchapalooza. all day Saturday was filled with a vibe and an energy. I came out of it like most people who attended — energized and ready to write, edit, publish, self-publish, network, promote.

And then Real Life set it.

I’m not saying I feel like the rope is slipping through my hands, but I’ve barely made a dent in transcribing my notes from my digital voice recorder and I haven’t gotten started on an edit for an existing piece and a complete outline for two new pieces.

And now, I’ve just determined that my work schedule is NOT changing and I WILL have the opportunity to go to OWFI Conference. Which is barely three weeks away. Which I sill haven’t registered for or gotten a discount rate on a hotel room.

I can hear all the comments now. “What are you waiting for?” “Go online and register.” “Don’t miss out on a good deal.” “You NEED to go.”

It’s the last one that’s the kicker. I think most writers go through a phase which starts with showing your work to mommy and daddy. They, of course, think you’re brilliant and wouldn’t say a word against you. You may have some friends who are not writers who you trust — until they read your work (because, after all, they’re your friends) and you realize you can’t trust their opinion. Spouses will support you. They’ll tell you they’re behind you. That makes for a great relationship but you know you need more.

That’s where writer’s groups and conferences come into play. Agents, editors, publishers, and other book industry people don’t necessarily think you’re brilliant, can be trusted, and give you what you truly want — an In. A foot in the door. A chance. An opportunity.

But they don’t come to you. You’re supposed to go to them.

So after this entry, I am going on to the OWFI site to read about registering. I am going to reserve that hotel room before it goes up (and what struggling writer can afford that?) And I will be as prepared as I can in the short time I have.

Because, the bottom line is I believe in myself.

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They don’t tell you about dinner.

March 14, 2012 at 7:43 pm (Blogging, Personal, Writing)
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It is only two days away from the Kansas Writer’s Association’s Scene Conference. It’s time to think about what it means to be a writer.

I’ve known, ever since first grade when the teacher had us put those ten vocabulary words into ten sentences, that words were a source of fascination. This notwithstanding the extensive library my parents maintained. And, in grade school, high school, college (where my second major behind film-making was creative writing). Training to be a writer.

Going from a “portable” Smith Corona typewriter to a Brother Word Processor. Identifying the hardware and being able to use it. Falling behind the computer generation and then feverishly catching up. Reading and expanding my reading list. Immersion in the Boston Poetry Scene in the early 90′s. Classic Greek and Roman poets and a few Dadaists and Surrealists thrown in for good measure.

Trying to get back to screenwriting while making a home in Kansas. Turning my attention back to the start, back to fiction. Crime fiction. And then discovering Transgressive fiction. Allowing myself to dare to experiment and be different. Or be myself, as the case may be.

Membership in the KWA. Subscription to Writer’s Digest. Teaching myself all the computer skills necessary, still being behind the curve, but catching up slowly. Learning about blogging and websites and creating a platform. My wife got me Ariel Gore’s book “How to Become a Famous Writer Before You’re Dead” and other such books. They’re great. Great insight, fantastic suggestions, good feedback into becoming a better writer and getting published.

And then there is that shake of the head. I’m spitting distance from turning fifty, a married homeowner with a full-time job, and just as many personal responsibilities as artistic desires. I’m not young enough to drop everything and go on an extended book signing/reading tour of colleges in a five state area. I’m not old enough and retired to attend writing conferences on either coast and expand my social and professional networking circle.

I’ve got to go grocery shopping and make dinner and take out the trash and pay bills and show up to work often enough where they do not doubt my sincerity of working there and allow me to keep making a living so I can pay my bills.

The bottom line is that I take everything I read and hear and discuss about writing and becoming a published writer and having a career as a writer with a grain of salt. I’ve got to fit everything that is MY life into an intricate jigsaw puzzle, sometimes daily or weekly or monthly or yearly. Whatever happens to be the priority of the moment.

I squeeze in some reading during two fifteen minute breaks and a half hour lunch. I post a blog when the urge strikes. I check up on the social networking as much as my limited resources allow. And I write when there is some new story to tell or some old story to revise.

And my wife, who is also my editor and biggest supporter, knows that the door open is an invitation and the door closed is a sign of immersion. I try to remind myself of the definition of ‘discipline’ every time I am at my desk in my office and when the laptop is turned on.

I keep reading the sage wisdom of published writers and what worked for them, hoping to come across someone EXACTLY like me. Because anyone else is either older or younger or a different gender or in a different profession or a different state. I haven’t found that person, as you may have guessed. Thankfully, at least for my wife’s sake, there is no one exactly like me. Therefore I am charting my own path.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go clean up the dishes from tonight’s dinner.

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I might switch the pitch!

February 9, 2012 at 9:10 pm (transgressive fiction, Writing)
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First of all, thank you to all who commented and provided feedback when I asked “Which Pitch to Pitch?” The overwhelming majority of those comments were to pitch the dark comic Transgressive fiction piece, the one that is probably “unpublishable.”

It appears my passion for this piece emerged while discussing my options. Rather than appearing equal to both, a preference inadvertently showed through.

That’ all right, though, because I was leaning toward it anyway. So, done, right? Hold that thought.

I wanted to have two finished pieces available for this writing conference, didn’t want to put all my literary eggs in one basket, so to speak. I was going to bring both. Weekend Getaways was ostensibly finished, just some cosmetic touches to make the interior with its strange fonts and line spacing stand out and be more appealing. Swansong needed a final edit, some tightening to keep it on track for being a face-paced hard-boiled crime fiction.

As I’m working on Swansong, I’m realizing that I’m really really enjoying it. It started out as a NaNoWriMo piece but had long since passed out of that phase and became defined and developed and, well, tight.

I love both of these children equally. They are stylistically different, deal with different themes, have a somewhat different voice, and show drastically different influences.

Yes, I’m bringing both to the writing conference. But I may make a switch on which pitch to pitch.

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My Digital Progress

September 21, 2011 at 7:35 pm (Personal, Writing)
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Here’s a scorecard:

WRITING: I’ve started editing two novels, giving them the full revision treatment. I’ve worked out a synopsis for a new novel based in part on the life of a retired Wichita, KS police detective. I’ve thought about a story line for NaNoWriMo.
On the writing front, pretty abysmal.

PLATFORM: I’ve continued to blog, Facebook, recently signed up for Twitter, stayed abreast of e-publishing options, attended KWA meetings, and am this close to getting a web site set up.

Platform vs. writing. Gotta have something to promote. Gotta have someplace to promote it. Sometimes the efforts are side by side and sometimes one takes a lead in the race while the other catches up.

And in between and all around this carnival is regular good old Life. You know, the full-time job and homeowner thing and the husband. It’s all an incredible magic act, not really juggling, because we are creating an illusion with every hat we wear, a performance of wonder.

I wonder what I’ll do next.

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The Lemons-and-Lemonade Analogy

August 4, 2011 at 8:09 pm (Personal, Writing)
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I was recently seeking a freelance gig to do the memoirs of a retired highly decorated Wichita police office. I did my research, put together a proposal, and met with the gentleman in his home for nearly two hours.

He was very hesitant, having never actually sought out the limelight before. This despite the fact that there were numerous newspaper clippings of his exploits meaning that the media sought HIM, certainly indicating that his story is worthwhile. On top of which, true crime stories usually focus on reprehensible criminals and less on heroic members of law enforcement. It would have had a built in hook. But you have to respect a man’s privacy. And I did and graciously thanked him for his time.

This is not to say that I was not disappointed. To think of being able to score a major writing coup AND present the story of this utterly fascinating man — well, it didn’t happen. The fantasy sequence ended right there.

However, many of the stories he told were fascinating, worthy perhaps of a fictional dramatization. I brought that idea to his attention; he was amenable to the idea. On the drive home that night, I began formulating ideas for a novel that could somehow incorporate this man’s life.

I am still working out the concept. I know I have SOMETHING. And even though my primary goals for this year were editing and revision and no new projects, what ARE you supposed to do when something this wonderful jumps in your lap?

Time for some lemonade.

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After the Meeting…

July 18, 2011 at 7:38 pm (Personal, Writing)
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It seems I’m not the only one who is “jazzed” after a meeting with other writer’s. This past Saturday was the monthly meeting of the KWA and afterward a secondary meeting of those interested in or members of the new Indie Writers Alliance.

Discussions are profuse and lively and at times stray from pure discussions of writing and the business thereof. Considering it takes a life filled with experiences to be a writer, it is acceptable to deviate.

I find myself taking feverish notes in longhand and hoping that I can read my own handwriting afterwards. I write down websites, email address, brief words and phrases, anything and everything that made an impression for future use, review or research.

And I’m not alone. On the KWA’s Facebook page there were several comments of the same ilk. You see, writers can not work or live or exist in a vacuum. Yes, writing is a solitary craft, a lonely art. But in the end, we write not for ourselves but to put our work “out there.” And it is highly gratifying to read later that the people who I have just shared ideas with feel in essence the same way.

I recall, some sixteen plus years ago, when I was immersed in the Boston poetry scene, talking with a young man in perhaps his early twenties. I asked him who he read. He responded that he didn’t read any other poets so as not to influence his thoughts and mood. I don’t know about you, but the words “Bull” and “Malarkey” come into my mind when I hear such nonsense. We are not islands. We absorb and experience everything that is around us. We can learn from those who came before us, in one fashion or another, whether by assimilating or rebelling. But we definitely can not create outside of the influence of all else.

I relish the opportunities that being a member of a writer’s group have afforded me. And I can’t wait until what might transpire after the NEXT meeting.

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Hidden Treasures

June 23, 2011 at 8:41 pm (transgressive fiction, Writing)
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I talk to other writers and read other writer’s blogs about writing and revision/editing. Everyone seems to say that writing your first draft is the easy part and that editing is where the real work starts. I do not disagree. My police procedural, The .9 mm Solution, is being completely restructured while my dark comic Transgressive fiction, Weekend Getaways, or Adventures in Contract Killing, is getting expanded into even weirder extremes.

It is tedious and detailed work. It requires an almost re-thinking of the project, attempting to separate yourself from the original impulse that caused you to start writing the piece while at the same time not lose the spark of that impulse. Frustration can lead to satisfaction.

What I am finding as I delve into each of these disparate pieces is that there are hidden treasures, sections of description, turns of phrase, foreshadowing, interesting characters or locations. I am finding aspects of my writing that were not there five years ago, much less in my formative years. Experience in life and practice of craft do yield positive results.

Yes, the actual work of editing and revision is still fraught with fright and requires the ultimate in patience and concentration. But if we look in closer, avoid for a moment “The Bigger Picture”, those hidden treasures are our rewards and the signposts toward the completion of our work.

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It’s like a jigsaw puzzle…

June 16, 2011 at 8:52 pm (Writing)
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I’ve been working on a police procedural entitled “The .9 mm Solution” from an idea inspired by discussions with my brother-in-law. He has some straight-forward ideas about law enforcement and the penal system. So, I formed them into an idea for NaNoWriMo in 2009. I’ve been working on various drafts since then.

I think I get it down to something workable and entertaining and figure it might be the traditional type piece that could secure an agent. During a KWA meeting last year, I read the first chapter in a small workshop. Gordon Kessler, one of the founders of KWA and the current president this year, made some comments causing me to revise that first chapter. I saw him again at the KWA Scene conference, passed on to him fifty pages (along with the revised first chapter) and waited.

THIS is why we need feedback. We CANNOT work in a vacuum.

I got back the binder at a KWA monthly meeting and when I got home I didn’t see any notes until about page 20 or so. “This is where the story starts.” I’ve always read that in blogs and in Writer’s Digest articles, etc. What you think is your beginning is not; it’s the prelude to your beginning. And love it as you might, you’ve got to chuck it. Start where the starting is good.

Along with that, I realized that I needed to change the focus and center of attention and restructure it completely.

So…

It’s like a jigsaw puzzle where you pull the pieces apart, keep what fits and find new pieces to fit the old pieces. As long as you still are in love with your story, the heart of it, the sense of it, then it makes sense to keep going.

I’m still looking for the new pieces. I’ll let you know when I find them.

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Every Minute of Every Hour of Every Day

June 7, 2011 at 8:06 pm (Personal, Writing)
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Part of me wants to be just a writer, always writing or editing or reading or reading about writing or watching movies to get fresh ideas or sending query letters to agents or attending writer’s conferences or …

And then, in walked Reality. Capital R. Little things, you know, like the mortgage and the bills and the job and the adult responsibilities. The necessary things.

(As writers who read this, you believe you understand completely based upon the tone and the writing of the first two paragraphs. First paragraph: rushed, exuberant, no periods. A sense of breathless joy. Second paragraph: Short sentences. A tone of sarcasm.)

I think back to being a single man, a poet, in Boston in the 1990′s. There was the “freedom” of going to poetry readings just about every night. There were countless live, hands-on real people, social networking among living and breathing human beings. There was also a room with a shared bathroom and kitchen with all utilities (except for phone) for $75/week and a dead-end job in a music store. (Does anyone remember those?)

Currently I am a married homeowner, living in a hundred year old Victorian house. I own my car. I have a full-time job and a 401k. There is a lever of comfort that has been earned through many years. There is not as much time to gallivant or just “hang out” with other writers to be cool. My needs as a writer have changed.

I need to continue to develop my craft (now that I’ve learned what a Craft is) and get feedback from people I might not ever have met personally but who understand what being a writer is. I need random comments rather than sweet commentary.

Some twenty years removed from an artsy type existence, I am still a writer every minute of every hour of every day. I just seem to have become more focused on what that really means.

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The value of paper

June 1, 2011 at 8:24 pm (Writing)
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We live in a digital age. There is no avoiding that. We have our computers and our external hard drives and our thumb drives and there is e-publishing coming up fast to challenge traditional publishing…

I’m breathless. I still remember my “portable” Smith-Carona typewriter. As heavy as a bowling ball. Heavy keys creating strong fingers (and perhaps a pre-cursor to carpal tunnel syndrome.) Was it why I became a two-fingered hunt-and-peck typist?

Ahh, but when it comes to editing and revision, there is still nothing better than paper. I recently printed out the most recent version of my transgressive novel Weekend Getaways, or Adventures in Contract Killing. I had made some significant changes and additions. Since typography is a major component of the work, I knew that I had to SEE it in its totality, page after page, and not merely scrolled down through a static computer screen.

The primary method for determining where it stands at this moment in time is to read it as I would a book. Not an e-reader. It has to pass THAT test first. Its uniqueness lies in the typography and the almost disjointed narrative and the inclusion of side pieces and commentaries (akin to Melville’s passages on whaling in “Moby Dick”).

So, after all the digitizing, I’m back to good old-fashioned paper. Of course, it’s an HP Photosmart printer but it’s still paper.

Thank goodness that some things never change.

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